My Fear of Writing

I didn't always have a fear of writing. In fact, from the time I could string words into a sentence, I was writing. Back then I loved it and for many years traveled a path towards journalism. I STILL have copies of things I wrote in second grade for the school "newspaper"! 

What happened?? Life Happened! 

When I left college and began life in Corporate America, the critics and the red pen came out in force. Suddenly, every word I  molded into a press release or article was rewritten by a boss who said "I would say it this way." By the time the piece was distributed, there was nary a word or thought that was mine. 

It was frustrating. It killed my confidence. 

In later years, I had different bosses who had the same reaction. By then I was being edited by committees. It became so draining that I started to hate writing anything. I was wasting my time. There were even times I publicly stated I was not taking credit (or blame) for a written piece because it was nothing I would have written. 

So as I sit here on my porch, with warm summer breezes wrapped around me like a gentle, encouraging hug, I'm looking fear in the face of my iPhone screen and WRITING something!!  I was going to wait until I went inside, then write a draft, then post, but the Blogger app icon looked at me and screamed "stop being a coward!" I'm writing simply because action eliminates fear and I have to start somewhere. 

The fear is evident in my first post-from JANUARY!!! I've literally been pysching myself out for 6 months!! 

I have to find a way to return to my love and comfort with writing. I have to blog here and I have to blog for my business. 

I've taken all the red pens from my house. I'm not going to get raked over the coals by a boss. This doesn't have to be perfect. 

It just has to be.